Written by Kristen Gilles
“Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He is my God, and I trust Him. For He will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. He will cover you with His feathers. He will shelter you with His wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.” (Psalm 91:1-4)
Like all of you, I have struggled throughout my life to dwell in the shelter of the Most High and find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I have sought refuge and safe shelter outside of His care. I have failed to believe His promises—to wear them as my armor and protection. And I’ve not trusted Him to rescue me from every trap—every temptation to sin—and from the deadly disease of sin.
Most of my struggle has been with mindlessly, thanklessly, wastefully (through over-consumption) eating; either because of boredom, or to escape stress, or to experience some comfort, or simulate my being in control, or just to indulge in pleasure. When I’ve faltered in this way, God has been good and faithful to convict me by His Holy Spirit and confront me with questions like, “Why are you eating right now? Needfully for your health and nourishment? What are you feeling? What are you seeking? Have you ever found it (ultimate relief, comfort, pleasure, control) where you’re currently looking (in food)? Haven’t I given you every good thing for your enjoyment? Are you enjoying food as a good gift from Me? Are you receiving these good gifts with thanksgiving? Am I enough for you? Will you trust Me as I sovereignly hold everything together?”
I don’t feel condemned by the Holy Spirit—the tone and questions are much different from those of our enemy who says things like, “You’ve done it again. You’re such a failure. You must really hate God—you didn’t really belong to Him in the first place. You’re so wasteful and ungrateful. You’ll never get this right–you’ll always be a slave to food…”
While it IS true that I often fail to get it right, it is NOT true that I hate God and don’t belong to Him. And those of us who are in Christ will…
Kristen Gilles is a worship leader and deacon at Louisville’s multi-campus Sojourn Community Church. Her new CD Parker’s Mercy Brigade is a story of faith, lament, comfort, healing and worship following the stillbirth of her son.
Kristen writes articles on worship and Christian living, and has been published by Worship Leader Magazine, TheGospelCoalition.org, and other leading Christian publications. As she declares on Parker’s Mercy Brigade, Kristen is learning each day to trust and hope in the God who gives and takes, and works both the giving and the taking for our good.
- KristenGilles.com (music)
- MySongInTheNight.com (blog)