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Trading In My Shame For God’s Mercies

SONY DSCLisa Brown is married, has a six-year-old boy and five-year-old girl.  She and her family love to go for drives in the Colorado Rocky Mountains not far from where they live. Together they are a home school, fun-loving, God-seeking family.

Lisa is our co-host in the upcoming series regarding Self-Esteem and Food-Related Issues. You can find her blogging over at “Me Too Moments For Moms

Trading In My Shame For God’s Mercies

 

Sometimes food feels more like my enemy then my friend. Usually I love grocery shopping and cooking.

 

But this isn’t always the case.

 

I forgot why I was in the grocery store. Come to think of it, I don’t think I really had a list of things to get on paper or in my head. I roamed from aisle to aisle stopping here and there staring.

 

When I made it to the produce section I grabbed some lettuce, a few tomatoes, an onion, and then stood in one place asking myself what’s next? My feet felt heavy and I leaned on my cart feeling depressed because there were too many choices to make. My diet will not allow me to enjoy all the delicious food around me.

 

Slowly walking by the chips I fail to keep my eyes off of them. I really shouldn’t buy them since I can’t seem to keep a bag around for more than a day.

 

I grabbed a large family size bag of chips anyway and start eating them while walking around the store. I close the bag to stop eating, take a few steps, open it up again, grab a few more and close the bag, open again and I don’t stop.

 

When I get to my car I put a knot on the grocery bag to make it hard to get to the bag of chips, but I did anyway while I was driving home and when I arrived the bag was over half empty.  I felt shame overtake me and a feeling of hopelessness because I failed again to take care of myself.

 

This happened twelve years ago on a regular basis when I was single. You may be asking what’s the big deal Lisa and I understand that one may wonder why, so please hear me out here. I know we all have times where we just go crazy over a bag of chips, candy or cookies. I think that munchies and cravings are normal from time to time, but dear readers what I’m sharing with you is not normal. This is about my personal battle with shame and overeating. It’s about me depending on God to help me grow closer to who He made me to be.

 

I still have episodes like this today and I’m not sure why. I just know that I don’t like it when I do. This is a hard struggle for me, I’m seeking counsel and answers to why I behave like this. In the meantime I’m trying to not condemn myself or live in guilt. I believe God will help me overcome and I don’t think He wants me to live in shame. He is a loving Father that desires for us to be confident.

 

Feeling shame doesn’t help me with my eating issues and I find comfort in knowing that God doesn’t keep a record of my rights or wrongs. He doesn’t reject me or punish me because I over eat. Instead He wants me to live in grace and love myself.

 

If you feel bad about yourself, remember that God’s Mercies are new for us every Morning. He is on our side and He only has good things to say about us.   He wants us to seek Him and not hide like Adam or Eve.

 

If you struggle with shame – please join me today in trading it in for Gods mercies.

 

Psalm 40:11-12(ESV)

11 As for you, O Lord, you will not restrain  your mercy from me; your steadfast love and your faithfulness will ever preserve me! 12 For evils have encompassed me beyond number; my iniquities have overtaken me, and I cannot see; they are more than the hairs of my head; my heart fails me.

 

We all struggle from time to time with an unwanted behavior. Most of the time change happens when we understand why we do what we do.   God will not leave us to defend for ourselves. I let God show me my weaknesses and false beliefs. I ask Him to deliver me and teach me why I handle food the way I do. He gives me understanding a little bit at a time.

 

Today He is showing me to not hide in shame. He embraces me with His everlasting arms and He allows me to make mistakes.

 

Maybe you struggle with food issues or maybe it’s something else. I want to encourage you today to take one step at a time. Don’t lean on your own understanding to figure it all out. Instead lean on Him to guide you.

 

In the near future it is my hope to have a series about overcoming food issues with God’s help. I sense that this is really a difficult topic for most writers to write about because like me they struggle with shame. If that is you, please know that God loves you right where you are. Any insight you may have about food issues may be what a reader needs to read. You may be the vessel that God chooses to use to help someone else.

Please consider sharing your story by writing for this blog series. For more information, email me at: connect@vision61.com

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